Older people are especially
vulnerable to loneliness and social isolation – and it can have a serious
effect on health. But there are ways to overcome loneliness, even if you live
alone and find it hard to get out.
Hundreds of thousands of elderly people are lonely and
cut off from society in this country, especially those over the age of 75.
According to Age UK, more than 2 million people in
England over the age of 75 live alone, and more than a million older
people say they go for over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or
family member.
People can become socially isolated for a variety of
reasons, such as getting older or weaker, no longer being the hub of their
family, leaving the workplace, the deaths of spouses and friends, or
through disability or illness.
Whatever the cause, it's shockingly easy to be left
feeling alone and vulnerable, which can lead to depression and a serious
decline in physical health and wellbeing.
Someone who is lonely probably also finds it hard to
reach out.
There is a stigma surrounding loneliness, and older
people tend not to ask for help because they have too much pride.
It's important to remember loneliness can – and does –
affect anyone, of any age. Here are ways for older people to connect with
others and feel useful and appreciated again.
Smile, even if it
feels hard
Grab every chance to smile at others or begin a
conversation – for instance, with the cashier at the shop or the person next to
you in the GP waiting room. If you're shy or not sure what to say, try asking
people about themselves.
Invite friends for
tea
If you're feeling down and alone, it's tempting to think
nobody wants to visit you. But often friends, family and neighbours will
appreciate receiving an invitation to come and spend some time with you.
If you would prefer for someone else to host, Contact the Elderly is a charity that holds regular free Sunday afternoon tea parties
for people over the age of 75 who live alone.
You will be collected from your home and driven to a
volunteer host's home for the afternoon.
Apply
online or call Contact the Elderly on 0800 716 543.
Keep in touch by
phone
Having a chat with a friend or relative over the phone
can be the next best thing to being with them. Or you can call The
Silver Line, a helpline for older people set up by Esther Rantzen, on 0800
4 70 80 90.
You can also call Independent Age on 0800 319 6789,
Age UK on 0800 169 2081,
or Friends of the Elderly on 020 7730 8263 to
receive a weekly or fortnightly friendship call from a volunteer who enjoys
talking to older people.
Community
Network brings people together on the phone each week. To join or start a
telephone group, call 020 7923 5250.
Learn to love
computers
If your friends and family live far away, a good way to
stay in touch, especially with grandchildren, is by using a personal
computer or tablet (a handheld computer).
You can share emails and photos with family and friends,
have free video chats using services such as Skype, FaceTime or Viber, and make new online "friends" or
reconnect with old friends on social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter and website forums.
A tablet computer can be especially useful if you can't
get around very easily, as you can sit with it on your knee or close to hand
and the screen is clear and bright. A sponge-tip stylus pen or speech
recognition may help if the touchscreen is difficult for arthritic hands or
fingers with poor circulation.
Libraries and community centres often hold regular
training courses for older people to learn basic computer skills – as well as
being a good place to meet and spend time with others in their own right.
Local branches of
Age UK run classes in computing to help older people get to grips with
smartphones, tablet computers and email.
Get some tips and advice on how
to become more confident using the internet, including how to access
your GP surgery online and how to look for reliable online health
information.
You can find somewhere local to take free or low-cost
computer courses through UK Online
Centres.
Get involved in
local community activities
These will vary according to where you live, but the
chances are you'll have access to a singing or walking group, book clubs,
bridge, bingo, quiz nights and faith groups.
Not to mention local branches of regional and national
organisations that hold social events, such as the Women's Institute,
Rotary, Contact
the Elderly, and Brendoncare
clubs in the south of England. The Silver Line helpline (0800 470 8090) can
let you know what's going on in your local area.
Fill your diary
It can help you feel less lonely if you plan the week
ahead and put things in your diary to look forward to each day, such as a walk
in the park, going to a local coffee shop, library, sports centre, cinema or
museum.
Independent Age has published a guide to help
you find free groups and classes in your area. Download Wise Guide 3: healthy, happy,
connected – support and advice for older people living alone (PDF, 393kb)
or order a free print copy by calling 0800 319 6789, or email advice@independentage.org.
Get out and about
Don't wait for people to come and see you – travel to
visit them.
One advantage of being older is that public transport is
better value. Local bus travel is free for older people across
England. The age at which you can apply for your free bus pass depends on when
you were born and where you live. Contact your local authority for more
information on how to apply.
Use this State Pension calculator to find
out the exact date when you can apply for your free bus pass.
For longer distances, train and coach travel can be
cheap, too, especially if you book in advance online and use a Senior Railcard.
The Royal Voluntary Service can put you in touch with
volunteers who provide free transport for older people with mobility issues or
who live in rural areas with limited public transport.
Help others
Use the knowledge and experience you've gained over a
lifetime to give something back to your community. You'll get lots back in
return, such as new skills and confidence – and, hopefully, some new
friends, too.
There are endless volunteering opportunities that
relish the qualities and skills of older people, such as patience, experience
and calmness. Examples are Home-Start, Sure Start, helping in a local charity shop or
hospital, Citizens
Advice, and school reading programmes.
Find out how to volunteer in your area on the
Volunteering England website.
Join the
University of the Third Age
The University of the Third Age (U3A) operates in
many areas, offering older people the chance to learn or do something new.
Run by volunteers, U3A has no exams. Instead, it gives
you the chance to do, play or learn something you may never have done before,
or something you've not considered since your school days. U3A is also a
great place to meet people and make new friends.
Find your nearest U3A online.
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