“When I’m more than I
thought I could be”! By Kate Blake
When we are young we believe that
we have our lives mapped out. For some
if you are lucky it happens according to plan and for others, if illness comes
calling it can change everything and you have to either sink or draw on some
extraordinary resources to start swimming.
Looking back over my life I can
plot various stages
- My childhood which probably developed my sense
of fun and my ability to laugh at myself
- My teenage years and my hopes for a future
career, but giving it up to settle down in a loving relationship of my own and
having my daughter
- At 40 feeling that I had tumbled from a great
height when my husband became ill and recognising that he would not be able to
work anymore, changing into work mode
and balancing his life, my family’s life and others all at the same time
- At 50 finding ourselves in a heavily entrenched
legal case and arguments as to why his company was responsible for his and his
others colleague’s illnesses and deaths
- Losing our home for 28 years because of a failed
five years’ legal case, which despite the overwhelming evidence was never going
to go anywhere as it would have opened up so many other cans of worms.
- Giving my job up as my husband illness
progressed, but running backwards and forwards to family a couple of days a
month ensure their safety in care in the community and a care home
- Experiencing my Mum dying of abuse, similarly my Mother-in-Law and transferring my
Father-in-law to an excellent care home for the last couple of years of his
life
- Dad going into the local hospital after
suffering a stroke and fighting the NHS when he was left to die without
adequate end of life care, transferring him back to the home for a great and
loving death surrounded by his family and carers.
- Coping with my husband’s progressive health
conditions and understanding the difficulties that finding good caring with
understanding and consistent support is not a given.
- At 60 setting up a national Charity - recognising
that life goes on despite all it throws at you, and that you can become bitter
twisted and selfish, or using your experiences to count your blessings and make
the most of the rest of your life.
At the beginning when our lives
changed it was rather like going through an elongated child birth without the
benefits, painful and seemingly never ending.
Not knowing why we constantly
went round on the NHS Hamster Wheel of Shame without a diagnosis or support,
and then asking why my husband’s legal team did not want to take, what I
believed to be a very interesting case, to court.
Gradually I needed to to come out
from under my previous security blanket, earn a living to keep our home, and to
find a way to bring all the evidence I knew that was out there to court.
I really did not have much
choice, the only person that could do that, find the witnesses to support it
and to resource knowledge, information, reports, clinicians health
professionals, professional support and other witnesses to present legal
statements and arguments, medical test, and failing occupational health, safety
and chemical standards, was me, and then later, my husband boss.
It helped that I had been working
and setting the standard for the Watchdog in the Newspaper and Magazine
industry and, through better communications, improve their reporting standards.
After finding the lengths that
our own Lawyers and their compatriots went to keep the truth hidden was hard
enough to cope with, as was being left penniless after working so hard for so
long to keep our home, but seeing both Mums whom I so loved, being abused and
neglected because I was not on hand to prevent, was a devastating blow!
After my Mum died the Local
Authority sent me a bill for her care, I was furious!
It was at that point that I said
“enough is enough” and after they apologised and admitted to her death, I really
started to think about the real problems people were faced with, when suffering
abysmal care, abuse and wilful neglect, and to look for some of the real
answers which would prevent it happening to others in the future.
As I looked around at those that
you expect to be able to make a difference to people’s care, I believed that
for whatever reason, nothing improved and nothing was changing.
So I changed, came a bit move
vocal and started to work on ideas that I felt were achievable, practical and
supportive for everyone receiving and delivering care and which I believed
would lead to improved and outstanding care for everyone.
I am not a special person, I am
just someone that cares passionately about people, but when you start to open
your eyes as to what is going on around in care, there becomes a time when we
all feel we need to take a bit of responsibility for our own and our family’s
destiny.
Surprisingly those that know me
well, know that underneath the full on “Essex Girl”, I am quite shy and lack confidence.
But I knew that if I want to meet the challenges in our Crisis in Care and I
think I have something to say that will make a big difference to others lives,
then regardless of my own insecurities, I needed to stand up to the mark.
In the last year I have been
blessed with a team of people coming into this Foundation, who complement each
other perfectly in their attitudes, ability and skills, and together they have
taken my dreams of outstanding care to heights, that even I, never imaged.
I quote our Patron’s the Countess
of Mar’s words: “The Foundation benefits
countless thousands of patients in the UK by spreading the word that a little
kindness and compassion in all our interactions will go an awfully long way. Loving
kindness can never be a one-way transaction – it will always come back to you
in buckets full if you show it to others”.
Looking back, it simply means
that the success of the Foundation is based on starting a good reason for
others to believe; that they too can be “more than I thought I could be”!