Toddlers and Shoes

I noticed about a week ago that one of the blogger babies was walking funny and every time I put on one particular shoe he’d break down in tears.  So, I did what any reasonable parent of twins would do and gave him a pair of his brothers’ shoes until I could get into town.

I’ll be honest the thought of shoe shopping made me feel a bit nervous, and understandably so.

Shopping is bad enough when you have two highly active, adventurous twin boys, but letting them go free in a shoe shop with all the hazards there are is asking for trouble, by anyone’s standard.

The Blogger Babies are like a pair of bulls in china shop, and slippery little suckers to boot.  It’s like herding a family of mad monkeys into a small enclosed space.

In order to avoid putting myself through this ordeal alone, I organised a family outing (Mummy, Daddy, Bumpy* and the blogger babies) and arranged with the shoe shop in advance that we would be coming so that everyone would be ready.

Blogger baby had gone up and whole size and a half since March; no wonder the shoes he had were a struggle to get on…

I felt like a really bad mummy, we’d only had his feet measured a few short months ago and his shoes had fit perfectly, but he's barefoot most of the time anyway as that’s just how we roll in our house.

Now the last time I bought a pair of shoes for myself I spent about £6, and I am wearing them to the death, so buying shoes every few months at £30+ it doesn’t seem good value.  I have my TAMBA card so I do get discounts but seriously Blogger Babies are so expensive…

I ended up selecting the only pair of shoes in his size (£38 not a bargain), and was congratulating myself on a successful trip when…  Blogger Baby number two started that he wanted to have his feet measured (they were measured last month with new shoes purchased), I look at the shoe shop lady and mouthed “No!”, now this is a great sales ploy – work with your audience even if it is only 2 ½ years old.

The shoe shop lady settle Blogger Baby down and promptly started measuring his feet, there weren’t many customers in… I think they cleared the store when I rang to say we were coming.

Meanwhile, Blogger Baby One had decided to rearrange the entire shop and was in the process of climbing a display, to be honest I figured that a shop stocking shoes for toddlers would probably be fairly used to this and would at the very least have their shelves screwed to the wall so I let Daddy and Bumpy follow him around, replacing shoes on their racks, whilst I oversaw the measuring.

To my horror, he’d too had gone up a size. What is it with children insisting on growing?

Fortunately, the shop had had a big rush on in the kids’ section (being school holidays) so there weren’t any shoes in his size, unfortunately it means a return trip in a few weeks.

Blogger Baby One has now walked from out the shop, falling over his feet a dozen times, by the time we’d walked back to the car the new shoes were scuffed and the knees in his trousers were starting to wear thin.

Next week it’ll shopping for trousers to replace them, and now looking at Blogger Baby Two he’s clearly had a growth spurt since leaving the house and his t-shirt is tighter than a leotard.

Still, we all survived, and mummy has earnt a glass of wine so I’m counting this as a parenting win.

*Bumpy is my 60+ Father who features in most of my posts for care of the elderly (but don’t tell him)

The Mental Capacity Act Conference - March 2017

Caring for an Aging Population

I was speaking to my dad about my grandmother who has dementia and recently suffered a fall, and the conversation got me to thinking about how we will be caring for an aging population and how will it be sustained.

At the same time, I realised that my father is one of the lucky ones, he’s what you would class as an O.I.N.K (One Income Numerous Kids), but what about those who would be classed as D.I.N.K.E.R (Duel Income No Kids Early Retirement)?

My dad has 4 kids and we range in age from the youngest (that’s me) in my mid-30s to my eldest brother who’s early 40’s, we all have children ranging from early 20’s to the youngest (Blogger Babies) who are 2½.

With my dad, he has us to care for him as he ages (he’s only 64), we can, for him

·         Make hospital appointments easier to get too

·         Visit him if he is ever (god forbid) admitted to hospital

·         We can support him if the worst ever happens (like the diagnosis of a terminal illness)

·         We as a family can help him to make decisions regarding his care and treatment we can ensure that the right services are in place.

·         We know my dad, we know his wishes and beliefs his “live fast” ideal and that he wishes to grow old disgracefully and grumpily (success has been achieved here already)

·         We can help “sneak in” his favourite meals when his fed up of boring slop (his words)

·         We can notify relatives and friends and tell them where he is

·         We can just be there, so that he knows he is loved and cared for

I’m sure there is more to think about than just this list but as I write my dad is in good health and fingers crossed not expecting anything to happen just yet.  Like my family most people rely on family, a spouse or partner for help.  But what happens when the person has none of those?  Who will they count on to help in an emergency or have care for them when they get sick?

It’s very difficult to think about people going through experiences like social isolation or abuse whether in a care home or at home, when they are alone and have no one to support them.  In honesty, it happens to those who do have people who care for them many campaign for changes that are slow in coming but so very needed.  Currently there is over a million people who are 65 or older and who have never been parents or have but tragedy and circumstance means they are aging alone.  Many have family who are too far away and unable to help.  Some have different reasons.

There are people going through a care system that is failing or falling apart now with no support, no loved ensuring a better standard of care for them and this is likely to increase as the demographic shift continues.

This cannot continue.   

We cannot have a system where people with children to fight for them make their care more bearable (I can’t bring myself to say to have a better experience because I don’t think they do, despite having loved one) and those without children being the forgotten aging population.

I know and I appreciate that Social Care is under mounting pressures, that there is a struggle to fund services and advocacy is under resourced, that the Government’s answer to the pressures of caring for older people when they need it is “family must do more”.   We must, we should find a way, all of us working in the Care sector to answer the question of “who will do the things children do when there are no children?”

We must also ask ourselves “is it just about the money?”

Poor training of our care staff

Poor training of our care staff is leaving our vulnerable at risk, but what is the extent of the training gaps among care home staff and why do Care Providers forget about those working the “front lines”, and fail their own staff, reputations and our elderly?

Why do Care Providers think that by not properly training their care staff they are saving money when in reality they are failing to deliver safe care, which is ultimately affecting their all-important “bottom line”?

We know if people who are living with dementia are not supported in the appropriate way it can cause them additional confusion and distress. It impacts on their wellbeing and it may impact on their behaviour, which makes the jobs of people working in the service even harder because they are potentially dealing with a manifestation of that distress and confusion

Their costs soar because their staff are under stress from poor training and trying to achieve good care, undervalued through a lack of decent pay and not respected in their field of professionalism.

Most Care workers want to be delivering good safe care, most care workers work long hours to ensure that they are not failing our loved ones while putting their own needs and loved ones on the back burner.

Care staff are missing out on vital training in dementia care, safeguarding and the Mental Capacity Act.

Care Right Now and The Edith Ellen believe that together we can achieve outstanding care and practices by working towards a more robust training and recognition for Care Staff.  Yes, there are Carers who aren’t willing to “go the extra” but for the majority they are frustrated at the poor level of care they are delivering, they want to learn and they want to see safe care practices within their services.  They are working long hours to ensure the best care they can with limited resources, they are working at promoting an abuse free environment, with little to no recognition or appreciation from their own management teams.

Care Right Now and the Edith Ellen have found through their own experiences that Dementia care is particularly falling short, with even specialist dementia homes failing to provide training on the topic to their staff.  Safeguarding, the Mental Capacity Act (MCA) and the Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (Dols) were the other most common gaps, the Edith Ellen is looking at rectifying this by providing sustainable training in these areas and beyond, that has identified the needs of the services, the users and the care givers.  We are also looking at launching a national database of Registered Care Givers, that will promote and celebrate care excellence enabling Care Givers to be recognised within their profession and receive the salary scale they should.

This will eradicate the lack of training that had resulted in safeguarding concerns not being reported, residents being unlawfully deprived of their liberty, and people with dementia being treated with no empathy or understanding of their care needs.

Where Dementia care has been a government priority for the last five years. In March 2012, Prime Minister David Cameron set a ‘national challenge’ to drive major improvements in care, research and awareness by 2015. More recently, the challenge has been extended to 2020.  What we need is for these changes to happen now beginning with the change to the way Service Providers Manage their own staff and Services. 

Thus, caring for older people in care homes and the community as they would like.